Build A Relationship With Your Inner Critic

Posted on March 1st, 2008 by admin

What is your inner critic really trying to teach you? Yes, most of the time, your inner critic offers up negative, fear-based comments. But, if you build a relationship with your inner critic – find out what it’s really trying to tell you, you can learn a lot from it.

The first thing to do is to identify when you’re inner critic is talking to you. And you know this, because your inner critic usually tells you things that reinforce your fears.

For example, if you’re working on a new product in your business, your inner critic is the voice in the back of your head telling you why it’s not good enough and how you probably won’t sell any.

Another example is when you try a new hair style, or you want to buy a new outfit. Your inner critic is the one telling you that it probably won’t look nice on you.

If you talked to your friends, the way your inner critic talks to you, you wouldn’t have many friends, now would you?

I’m sure that you already have a good idea about how your inner critic talks to you and what that voice sounds like. So, how do you begin cultivating a relationship with it, and what exactly is it trying to tell you with all of this negativity?

To begin cultivating a relationship with your inner critic, the first thing to do, is to determine what the messages are behind the blatant criticism. Ask yourself these questions:

1. Have I been at a similar point in my life and something negative happened as a result?
2. If a friend was doing this exact thing, what would I be telling them?
3. Why do I feel I can’t support myself in this action - why do I feel I have to try and talk myself out of it with all this negative self-talk?

When you ask yourself these questions - really listen to the answers. It’s important for you to sit quietly and really hear the wisdom that might be behind the words.

Many times, our inner critic is an expression of our fear. For example, if you tried a new hair style in the past and someone made fun of you, or you over-heard a negative comment about it, the next time you decide to change your hair, you’ll be mentally and energetically thrown back into that negative situation. You don’t want to go through that again - so your inner critic comes up in an effort to save you from those feelings.

Sometimes, our inner critic has a constructive reason for stopping your actions. Maybe your pushing so hard to get a product out that you miss an important piece. Your inner critic might be trying to get your attention by being negative so that you see what’s missing before the product is released.

The trick is - instead of taking your inner critics words at face value, you need to dig into them a little deeper.

Ask your inner critic what it is really trying to tell you and then listen for the answer - there is wisdom in the words. Once you’ve opened the dialog, ask your inner critic to be more positive when she speaks - after all, you don’t let your friends treat you like that!

Jenn Givler is the Catalyst for Thriving Holistic Businesses. Have you been doing everything right in your business, but you’re still not seeing growth or consistency? Check out Jenn’s free report that will show you what invisible barriers might be holding you back, and how you can start breaking through them and stepping into success: http://www.jgivlercoaching.com

Filed under: Self Improvement |

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