After all, people can tell when something isn’t right. You may think you’re hiding your anger, but it’ll eventually find a way to come out—either in voice tone, body language or attitudes. Some people use the cold-shoulder mask. When someone makes them angry, they may say they’ve forgiven them, but they become cold, showing no warmth or emotion in dealing with that individual. These people live a lonely existence. Because they’re so afraid of being hurt, they avoid close, meaningful relationships. This is a classic example of “choosing your pain.” They’ll choose the pain of living an isolated, lonely life instead of working through the problem, determined to develop good friendships. Other people like to use the silent-treatment mask. They say they’re not angry with you, yet they refuse to talk to you, or they only communicate when it’s absolutely necessary, usually with a grunt or nod. When people avoid being with, touching, or doing things for the person they’re angry with, they’re hiding behind a mask, which isn’t the answer.
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